I’m living quite like a vampire these days. I haven’t seen the sun for days! And maybe that’s an explanation to why I’ve been so gloomy.
I sat thinking of all the wasted time… all the wasted music that I’ve never listened to.
What am I doing? I’m just wasting more and more time.
I’ve got to get out of here, at once.
…
How long will it take for me to die from starvation?
Looking at all those anorexic models, it will take a long, loooong time.
With love,
~Vanny
Actually this was supposed to be a blog were I was going to post sketches of my ongoing history.
But I’m just not in the mood of posting it here yet -I still have to finish some parts- so I decided that I’ll be posting about my -boring- life and thoughts here as well.
Tell me why I have this kind of envious thoughts? Like I have to be EVERYTHING or just NOTHING.
For a long time I choose just for nothing, I guess I was very afraid of trying and end up failing. Now this decision doesn’t fit me anymore. It is impossible to have everything, I know, but every time I see someone with a quality I don’t have I feel like shit.
Then I stand in the middle of nothingness and everything, freaking out trying to reach each one of the sides but –(un)fortunately- as any normal person, I just can’t.
But the worse is not only that I’m totally lost in this middle, is that I blame myself for not reaching any of the sides.
Gosh, nobody can reach it! Just when I’ll accept that? I hope it will be soon.
Well… One can only hope… LIAR!
I’m beginning this with a load of awful thoughts, how charming.
“I charm you and tell you of the boys I hate
All the girls I hate
All the words I hate
All the clothes I hate
How I’ll never be anything I hate
You smile, mention something that you like”
Franz Ferdinand – The Dark of the Matinée
ps: hm… this wasn’t supposed to be in english -since is not my first language- but well… just came off this way… i guess it’s ok o.o
